To the moms at the park
And the dads and nannies and foster parents and grandparents anyone really who gave me advice at the park. There were a lot of you.
To the moms at the park, thank you is eight letters far too short, so here’s some more.
TLDR: You taught me how to be a mom. As I watched each of you guide your child, up close or from the seated side-lines, you showed me the multifaceted-ness of the gem that is motherhood.
When my son wasn’t sleeping through the night, and I sat in a daze while he toddled around in the wood chips, you told me your kid didn’t sleep through the night until they were four. For some moms that would sound like terrible advice, a bad omen for sure, but for these tired eyes, they gave me internal rest knowing I was doing enough.
When he started to hit and push others nearly overnight, I thought surely our park-going days were over. You told me that your kid (now 8 years old) went through that phase and it felt like forever. You gave me suggestions (hardly ever pushy) about ways to get through it all. But most of all you said to wait it out, it will pass. He won’t be like this forever. Maybe a year, max. You carried the load with this heavy-hearted mama. (Also btw, you were right. It took about a year and then he was done.)
When others started saying “It’s time to potty train!” You shared with me, “Well yeah, you can do that now, or you can not. Some kids work on their own time.” You moms told me that when he was 1.5, and 2, and when we started trying but it just wasn’t clicking, “It’s okay, every kid figures it out.” You shared with me all of your potty training sagas, the odd journeys your kids took to end up in undies. When I shared the weird places we seemed to be stuck, you promised it would get better with time. It wouldn’t be like this forever.
When he finally nailed all the parts of pottying at 3, you said “Wow! 3 years old for a boy? That’s amazing!” I lived off of every bit of encouragement. Every trick, every consolation, every bit of advice (even if I didn’t try it!) I needed to knuckle through that long 9-month process.
But most of all moms of the park, I want to thank you for being there. I know I know, it’s the kids. We’re there for the kids. But whenever I was in a mentally lonely valley of motherhood, one of you would come along and in your own way whisper “You’re not alone.”
So often I showed up at the park to get a break, to let the kid go, burn off the energy and play with others instead of me. I thought I was coming for a nice rest, but I often left with child-raising observations and conversations that have absolutely discipled me into full-blown motherhood.
There are things that I know that I only learned from the park, and while I can’t trace all of them back to the conversation of origin, I know that it came from you moms.
You helped make this mom. This mom that now sets off on the journey of having another boy (God give me strength). You showed me how to do it the first time. Those of you who know how to wrangle two boys a few years apart in age, who have the newborn strapped to you as you chase the toddler around the park, I’m ready to take notes!
Whether we had a great chat but we never made it to the mom-friend zone, or I grabbed your number and we texted but never quite made it to the second hang: Thank You. I have so much left to learn from you.
Love this and have those same moms at the park to thank!
Another boy! Congrats! And always happy to read your words 💙